How to help a friend who cuts

    how to help a friend who cuts

    How Can I Help a Friend Who Cuts?

    By helping a friend address cutting problems, you may open the door for him or her to resolve other issues, too. The first step to getting help is usually the hardest. What If a Friend Rejects Help? It's often difficult to help a friend who cuts. You may not see changes overnight, if at all. Aug 03, †Ј Your friend suddenly cuts you out of her life, and you have no idea why. You feel deeply confused and upset. Stage 2: Loss. You feel a terrible sense of pain and loss. You may obsessively replay memories of the times you enjoyed together, and you may experience physical symptoms of heartache. Stage 3: Self-Blame.

    Emma's mom first noticed the cuts when Emma was doing the dishes one night. Emma told her mom that their cat had scratched her. Her mom seemed surprised that the cat had been so rough, but she didn't think much more about it. Emma's friends had noticed something strange as well.

    Even when the weather was hot, Emma wore long-sleeved shirts. She had become secretive, too, like something was bothering her. But Emma couldn't seem to find the words to tell her mom or her friends that the marks on her arms were from something that she had done.

    She was cutting herself with a razor when she felt sad or upset. Injuring yourself on purpose by making scratches or cuts on your body with a sharp object Ч enough to break the skin and make it bleed Ч is called cutting. Cutting is a type of self-injuryor How to make a workbench in minecraft xbox. People who cut often start cutting in their young teens.

    Some continue to cut into adulthood. People may cut what is the box part of a computer called on their wrists, arms, legs, or bellies. Some people self-injure by burning their skin with the end of a cigarette or lighted match. When cuts or burns heal, they often leave scars or marks. People who injure themselves usually hide the cuts and marks and sometimes no one else knows. It can be hard to understand why people cut themselves on purpose.

    Cutting is a way some people try to cope with the pain of strong emotions, intense pressureor upsetting relationship problems. They may be dealing with feelings that seem too difficult to bear or bad situations they think can't change. Some people cut because they feel desperate for relief from bad feelings. People who cut may not know better ways to get relief from emotional pain or pressure. Some people cut to express strong feelings of rage, sorrow, rejection, desperation, longing, or emptiness.

    There are other ways to cope with difficulties, even big problems and terrible emotional pain. The help of a mental health professional might be needed for major life troubles or overwhelming emotions.

    For other tough situations or strong emotions, it can help put things in perspective to talk problems over with parents, other adults, or friends. Getting plenty of exercise also can help put problems in perspective and help balance emotions. But people who cut may not what is the definition of ringworm developed ways to cope. Or their coping skills may be overpowered by emotions that are too intense.

    When emotions don't get expressed in a healthy way, tension can build up Ч sometimes to a point where it seems almost unbearable. Cutting may be an attempt to relieve that extreme tension. For some, it seems like a way of feeling in control.

    The urge to cut might be triggered by strong feelings the person can't express Ч such as anger, hurt, shame, frustration, or alienation. People who cut sometimes say they feel they don't fit in or that no one understands them.

    A person might cut because of losing someone close or to escape a sense of emptiness. Cutting might seem like the only way to find relief or express personal pain over relationships or rejection.

    People who cut or self-injure sometimes have other mental health problems that contribute to their emotional tension. Cutting is sometimes but not always associated with depression, bipolar disordereating disorders, obsessive thinking, or compulsive behaviors. It can also be a sign of mental health problems that cause people to have trouble controlling their impulses or to take unnecessary risks. Some people who cut themselves have problems with drug or alcohol abuse. Some people who cut have had a traumatic experience, such as living through abuseviolence, or a disaster.

    Self-injury may feel like a way of "waking up" from a sense of numbness after a traumatic experience. Or it may be a way of reliving the pain they went through, expressing anger over it, or trying to get control of it.

    Although cutting may provide some temporary relief from a terrible feeling, even people who cut agree that it isn't a good way to get that relief. For one thing, the relief doesn't last. The troubles that triggered the cutting remain Ч they're just masked over. People don't usually intend to hurt themselves permanently when they cut. And they don't usually mean to keep cutting once they start.

    But both can happen. It's possible to misjudge the depth of a cut, making it so deep that it requires stitches or, in extreme cases, hospitalization. Cuts can become infected if a person uses nonsterile or dirty cutting instruments Ч razors, scissors, pins, or even the sharp edge of the tab on a can of soda.

    Most people who cut aren't attempting suicide. Cutting is usually a person's attempt at feeling better, not ending it all. Although some people who cut do attempt suicide, it's usually because of the emotional problems and pain that lie behind their desire to self-harm, not the cutting itself.

    Cutting can be habit forming. It can become a compulsive behavior Ч meaning that the more a person does it, the more he or she feels the need to do it.

    The brain starts to connect the false sense of relief from bad feelings to the act of cutting, and it craves this relief the next time tension builds. When cutting becomes a compulsive behavior, it can seem impossible to stop.

    So cutting can seem almost like an addiction, where the urge to how to tell if chicken breast is bad can seem too hard to resist. A behavior that starts as an attempt to feel more in control can end up controlling you. Cutting often begins on an impulse. It's not something the person thinks about ahead of time.

    Shauna says, "It starts when something's really upsetting and you don't know how to talk about it or what to do. But you can't get your mind off feeling upset, and your body has this knot of emotional pain. Before you know it, you're cutting yourself. And then somehow, you're in another place. Then, the next time you feel awful about something, you try it again Ч and slowly it becomes a habit. Natalie, a high-school junior who started cutting in middle school, explains that it was a way to distract herself from feelings of rejection and helplessness she felt she couldn't bear.

    I guess part of me must have known it was a bad thing to do, though, because I always hid it. Once a friend asked me if I was cutting myself and I even lied and said 'no.

    Sometimes self-injury affects a person's body image. Jen says, "I actually liked how the cuts looked. I felt kind of bad when they started to heal Ч and so I would 'freshen them up' by cutting again. Now I can see how crazy that sounds, but at the time, it seemed perfectly reasonable to me. I was all about those cuts Ч like they were something about me that only I knew.

    They were like my own way of controlling things. I don't cut myself anymore, but now I have to deal with the scars. You can't force someone who self-injures to stop. It doesn't help to get mad at a friend who cuts, reject that person, lecture her, or beg him to stop.

    Instead, let your friend know that you care, that he or she deserves to be healthy and happy, and that no one needs to bear their troubles alone. Girls and guys who self-injure are often dealing with some heavy troubles.

    Many work hard to overcome difficult problems. So they find it hard to believe that some kids cut just because they think it's a way to seem tough and rebellious. Tia tried cutting because a couple of the girls at her school were doing it.

    So I did it once. But then I thought about how lame it was to do something like that to myself for no good reason. Next time they asked I podcast on how to make a podcast said, 'no, thanks Ч it's not for me. If you have a friend who suggests you try cutting, say what you think.

    Why get pulled into something you know isn't good for you? There are plenty of other ways to express who you are. Lindsay had been cutting herself how to use ibm spss statistics 21 3 years because of abuse she suffered as a child. She's 16 now and hasn't cut herself in more than a year. There are better ways to deal with troubles than cutting Ч healthier, long-lasting ways that don't leave a person with emotional and physical scars.

    The first step is to get help with the troubles that led to the cutting in the first place. Here are some ideas for doing that:. Although cutting can be a difficult pattern to break, it is possible. Getting professional help to overcome the problem doesn't mean that a person is weak or crazy. Therapists and counselors are trained to help people discover inner strengths that help them heal.

    These inner strengths can then be used to cope with life's other problems in a healthy way. Larger text size Large text size Regular text size.

    Friend Breakup: Journey to Acceptance

    Feb 03, †Ј Heading cuts are carefully placed cuts intended to encourage new side growth and discourage the main stem from growing longer. Make heading cuts in pruning about one-fourth inch ( cm.) above a bud. You can't force someone who self-injures to stop. It doesn't help to get mad at a friend who cuts, reject that person, lecture her, or beg him to stop. Instead, let your friend know that you care, that he or she deserves to be healthy and happy, and that no one needs to bear their troubles alone. A beautifully illustrated guided journal that helps women slow down and enjoy life rather than pushing for perfection. Most women today are frantic, lost in an endless cycle of busyness caused by constant pressure to perform up to unrealistic expectations of perfection, many of which are self-imposed.

    By Latoya Gayle For Mailonline. A woman who is struggling to purchase her 'dream' house has been told to make compromises instead of comparing her situation to friends. Posting anonymously on Mumsnet , the woman, who lives in the UK, explained she and her husband have good jobs but are still unable to afford a two-bedroom house with a garden and parking.

    She said a friend who works part-time has purchased the equivalent after being given money from her father and others who don't work have secured mortgages with just their husband's salary.

    Responses to the post admitted they've also felt 'bitter' because of their friend's accomplishments, but others argued against comparing situations to others and told the woman to make more compromises to achieve her goal instead. A British woman has revealed she struggles to be happy for her friends who've achieved buying a property with help from their parents file image. Posting on Mumsnet, the woman explained she and her husband have been saving for a two-bedroom house with a garden and parking pictured.

    Venting her frustrations, the woman wrote: 'My husband and I have good jobs and work really hard but are still struggling to be able to afford our dream home. Two bedrooms, a garden and parking. Not much I know but it seems impossible No matter how hard we work and save we seem to be unable to find a small home and to others it seems to come so easy.

    A stream of responses admitted they're also frustrated with the housing market and have struggled to be happy for those who buy properties. One person wrote: 'I agree whole heartedly with you. It really shows how bad the housing market is now that being able to afford a simple home is out of reach to so many.

    It's easy for LLs to purchase multiple properties of this size, but impossible for your average person to. Being able to afford a simple home should not be this difficult. A stream of people admitted they're also unable to purchase a house and downsizing isn't the answer to the problem pictured.

    Another commented: 'I agree op. And how long do PPs think people should live in shared accommodation for? Until their 50s? It's just not doable if you have a family. However, others argued that feeling bitter won't improve the woman's situation and told her to focus on making compromises in her search for a home. One person penned: 'I can't afford to buy either and several of my friends have had their deposits gifted.

    I'm grateful to have a roof over my head and my time will come eventually. You lose sight of what you have when you spend your time comparing it to what others do. Another person penned: 'Feeling bitter will not solve anything. There will always be situations in which some people have an easier ride than others. Purchasing a house is currently quite difficult so you are not alone. They'll get there in the end and - so will you eventually. Never compare yourself to others, everyone has difficulties in life,' another wrote.

    A third added: 'You have to decide what is important and what you are able to compromise on. DH and I would have loved a small house in London but it was unaffordable. So we moved out of town and even here we couldn't get everything we wanted with our budget so chose an extra bedroom as we both now work from home, and scarified parking to get that. Others argued the woman should compromise her ambitions and stop comparing her situation to friends.

    The views expressed in the contents above are those of our users and do not necessarily reflect the views of MailOnline. Argos AO. Privacy Policy Feedback. Woman struggling to save for her 'dream house' admits she feels 'bitter' that a friend bought a two-bed home after her father gifted her 'half of the money' but is told to 'stop comparing herself to others' Anonymous woman, who lives in the UK, is struggling to buy her 'dream house' Posting on Mumsnet, explained a friend bought a house with help from parents Admitted she feels 'bitter' and knows that she should be happy for her friend Responses argued she should make compromises and not compare her situation By Latoya Gayle For Mailonline Published: BST, 16 April Updated: BST, 16 April e-mail View comments.

    Share this article Share. Read more: Please help me to feel less bitter! Share or comment on this article: Woman admits she's bitter that a friend bought a two-bedroom house with help from parents e-mail. Comments Share what you think. View all. Bing Site Web Enter search term: Search. Celebs share flashback photos to reflect on when they got glam for the Academy Awards Elsa Pataky shows off her newly brunette hair as she and husband Chris Hemsworth take off in a helicopter from Sydney Airport He's here!

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